• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

The Glen Park Association

Up-to-the-minute news from Glen Park

  • Home
  • Glen Park Association
    • About the Glen Park Association
    • Join the GPA
    • GPA Board Contacts
    • GPA Meeting Minutes
    • Bylaws
    • Neighborhood boundaries
  • News Stories
    • Glen Park News
    • Editor’s Picks
  • Greenway
    • About
    • Greenway Plan
  • GPA Grants Program
  • Crime & Safety
  • Contact
    • Contact
    • Volunteer Sign Ups
    • Event Submission
    • Author Submissions

Who is this Mr. Park of whom you speak?

February 24, 2014 by Elizabeth Weise

Glen Park Rec Center signTHEY CAME IN CONFUSION

by Carl Wells

The curious encounter was reported to me by Mortimer Phipps, one of our neighborhood’s milder and more sensitive residents.  Mortimer is a splendid graphic artist, an owner-trainer of three talented hamsters (“The keyboard tricks are impressive,” says his wife, Bea), and a lover of cashews, spicy beets, and fog — morning fog only.  (“Fog later in the day,” he says, “is off-putting, as it interferes with the calm appreciation of afternoon and evening hues — it just isn’t right!”)  Mortimer, while often irked by certain of life’s peculiarities, is generally reliable as to facts, and as are so many of our creative, self-employed folk, quite practical at base.  The following account is how he told it, as best I could get it down.

I had been taking a lazy Sunday afternoon walk through Glen Canyon.  I wasn’t expecting anything unusual to happen — and then it did.  A silver, saucer-shaped craft zipped across the sky and stopped short, hovered shakily, and, with its engines making a high-pitched whine (I was reminded of the dear dentist of my youth, Dr. Alfred), it settled slowly onto the grass about 50 feet away.  The hatch opened and two little green men climbed out.  (I say green, although perhaps aggressive — or at least assertive — avocado might be closer to the actual shade, and I say men, as my strong impression was that they were male, but, given that these were my first space visitors, I couldn’t know for sure.)

They hurried over to me.  The taller, skinnier one wasn’t quite as fast — he walked with the aid of some sort of cane-like stick that faintly glowed French scarlet, or perhaps you would say the color was more morning berry? — wait, maroon ascending!  No, no … oh, let’s just call it red.

“Greetings, Earthling,” the shorter one said.

“Hi,” I said.  “You speak English!”

He looked annoyed.  “What, you want to speak something else?”

“No, no, it’s just that —“

“Okay, then,” he said.  “Let’s move on.”

It seemed that diplomatic relations weren’t getting off to a good start.

“So are you by any chance Mr. Park?”

“No,” I said.  “I’m Mr. Phipps.”

“Not Mr. Park?”

“No.  Sorry.”

“Do you know Mr. Park?”

“I don’t think I know anyone named Park.”

“What did he say?” the taller one asked, cupping his hand-like thing near his head — there must have been an ear there somewhere.

“He’s not Mr. Park and doesn’t know him.”

“I’m just wondering,” I said, ”Why are you looking for Mr. Park?

“We want to meet him.  Our research says he’s friendly.”

“Has a good spirit,” said the taller one.

“And he’s — how do you say it? — easy going.”

“He sounds great.  I’d like to meet him myself,” I offered.

“I’m surprised you haven’t,” said the shorter one.  “He apparently owns the whole area.”  He spread his ropey arms in a wide arc — a trail of sparkly stuff (naughty purple? Auntie’s plum?) stayed in the air for a few seconds.

“I don’t think so,” I said.  “This is City property.  I’m sure I would have heard about—“

“We gotta go,” said the shorter one, looking at what I suppose you would call a watch on what I suppose you would call his wrist.

“But—“

“I understand,” he said impatiently, rolling his eyes.  And they did actually roll.

“You’ve already told us you don’t know Mr. Glenn Park.”

“WHAT?”

“What?”

“You said Mr. Glenn Park!”

“So?

“So Glenn Park isn’t a person, he’s a neighborhood.  I mean, it’s a neighborhood.  Here — Glen Park.  It’s—

“R-i-i-i-ght,” said the shorter one.  I could tell he did not believe me whatsoever.  “Look, we really gotta go.”

“Wait!” I pleaded.  “You’re in Glen Park!  You’re—“

“What’d he say?” asked the taller one.

“He said we’re in Mr. Park.”

The taller one shook his head sadly.  They both hurried back to their ship.

Just before he closed the hatch, the shorter one turned toward me and shouted, “Hey, you don’t happen to know Mr. Valli, do you?”

“Who?” I asked.

“Valli,” he answered, sounding irritated.  “Mr. Noah Valli.”

“Oh, man,” I muttered, and buried my head in my hands.

“Heitz?” he shouted.  “Mr. Bernie Heitz?”

I didn’t even look up as they flew off.

Mr. Wells lives in an area he believes to be Glen Park, though it could also be Area 51. The mapping is uncertain.

 

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

IMPORTANT UPCOMING DATES

Upper Noe Neighbors Community Meeting Wednesday, May 21, 7 p.m.
Upper Noe Recreation Center auditorium
295 Day Street
Agenda


San Francisco Department of Public Works logoDPW Love Our City
District 8 Cleanup Day
Saturday, June 7, 9 a.m. to afternoon
Learn more and sign up here


 

Logo Center for Creative Exploration

The Center for Creative Exploration
Explore all the Colors of the Rainbow
one-day workshop
Saturday, June 7, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.
300 Chenery Street
Learn more and link to registration here


Weeding Party
June 21, 10 a.m. to noon
100 block of Arlington at Charles
Join neighbors on the North end of the Cut to keep down the weeds and beautify top to bottom. Tools, lunch and good company provided.



Stop the bleed logoStop the Bleed Workshop
Thursday, June 26, 6-9 p.m.
St. Aidan’s Church
To learn more, click here


Monthly cleanup on the Greenway
First Saturday of the Month (usually)
Click here to learn more


Friends of Glen Canyon’s
Glen Canyon Habitat Restoration
Every third Saturday 9:30 a.m to noon
Sign up here

Subscribe to this Newsletter

Sign Up for Glen Park Association News Updates:

* indicates required

Check It Out at the Glen Park Library

Click the above button or here to see all upcoming Glen Park Branch Library events. Subscribe to our monthly newsletter to get events highlights in your inbox.

Glen Park Rec Center

Glen Canyon Park sign
Click here for latest
Glen Park Rec Center
class schedule


Saturdays 3-4:45 p.m.
Questions? Call 415-239-4007


GP Movie Night Schedule

Renew Your Glen Park Association Membership for 2025

Join the Glen Park Association and help promote our community’s interests. Together, we can secure improvement funds, publicize neighborhood concerns and strive to speak as one voice on neighborhood and city issues.

Membership in the Glen Park Association is only $10 annually and can be purchased online.

Glen Park Association Advertising Sponsors

JE_Digital Small Space Ad
Diamond Heights Digital Ad
GPA Ad- Perez Construction ad 6.27.22 v Glen Park
moroco
Center for Creative Exploration - adult
JE_Digital Small Space Ad
Diamond Heights Digital Ad
GPA Ad- Perez Construction ad 6.27.22 v Glen Park
moroco
Center for Creative Exploration - adult
previous arrow
next arrow
Shadow

Current Weather & Air Quality

Glen Park featured on…

FacebookSF ChronInstagramTwitter

Join the Glen Park Association on Facebook

Comments Box SVG iconsUsed for the like, share, comment, and reaction icons
Glen Park Association is in Glen Park.
2 hours ago
Glen Park Association

Tuesday was a star-studded day at Glen Park BART when Seth Rogen and Olivia Wilde spent much of the afternoon filming a new romantic comedy titled “The Invite” in the station.

For more on this story..Check out the article by Elizabeth Weise on the Glen Park News Blog:
“Seth Rogen & Olivia Wilde filming at Glen Park BART”

Visit Link in Bio or our website: www.glenparkassociation.org
... See MoreSee Less

Tuesday was a star-studded day at Glen Park BART when Seth Rogen and Olivia Wilde spent much of the afternoon filming a new romantic comedy titled “The Invite” in the station.

For more on this story..Check out the article by Elizabeth Weise on the Glen Park News Blog: 
“Seth Rogen & Olivia Wilde filming at Glen Park BART”

Visit Link in Bio or our website: www.glenparkassociation.org
View on Facebook
· Share
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email
View Comments
  • likes 0
  • Shares: 0
  • Comments: 0

0 CommentsComment on Facebook

Glen Park Association is at San Francisco Public Library Glen Park Branch.
3 days ago
Glen Park Association

Photos and Fun courtesy of the Glen Park Library!
It was a great turnout at the Glen Park Library Open House on Saturday May 17th!

Thank you to all who attended and a big thank you to Glen Park Branch Library Manager Darren Heiber and his staff for a fantastic day!! 🙌🏽

San Francisco Public Library Arion Press | Artist Books Museum of Craft and Design Rafael Mandelman 🏳️‍🌈 #glenparklibrary #ar
... See MoreSee Less

Photos and Fun courtesy of the Glen Park Library! 
It was a great turnout at the Glen Park Library Open House on Saturday May 17th!

Thank you to all who attended and a big thank you to Glen Park Branch Library Manager Darren Heiber and his staff for a fantastic day!! 🙌🏽

@sfpubliclibrary @arionpress @museumofcraftanddesign @rafaelmandelmand8 #glenparklibrary #arionpress #museumofcraftanddesign #glenparksf #sanfrancisco #incommunity
View on Facebook
· Share
Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Linked In Share by Email
View Comments
  • likes 0
  • Shares: 0
  • Comments: 0

0 CommentsComment on Facebook

Blog Roll

Coyote Yipps
Friends of Upper Noe Recreation Center
Glen Park Neighborhoods History Project
Open SF History
Sunnyside Conservatory
Sunnyside History
Sunnyside Neighborhood Association
Tramps of San Francisco
Upper Noe Neighbors

Copyright © 2025 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in

View on Facebook
PreviousNext

View on Facebook